Sunday, August 1, 2010

Devil: The Liar

Dirty politicians will promise many things during campaigning but do nothing once they're in office. I've watched A Christian message just now that Satan's ways of tempting us is similar.

The story is logic and insightful yet not according to scripture.

The story goes...
A politician was ran by a truck. He died and went to the gates of heaven. Jesus looked at him and asked. Do you wanna go to heaven or hell. Unsurprisingly, the politician chose heaven. Jesus then said "We have rules down here, one must spend 24 hours in heaven, 24 hours in hell and then make his decision"(This is not according to scripture, once you are condemned your are shown no mercy). The man pleaded to Jesus but in the end gave in to the rules.

He went to heaven first. It was nothing like what he saw the angels playing their harps and clouds, sunshine everywhere. He was in a worship session in a huge church made of gold, everyone with hands held high or on their knees. Everyone around the church Then it was the preacher's sermon and that preacher was Jesus. His appearance was that as if he was fresh from the cross. His wrists and feet with puncture wounds, blood still pouring. The face of the Lord was scarred with deep wounds and gashes. Jesus wore a blood stained robe. Yet no one but the politician was deterred. Everyone but the politician bowed and kissed his feet.

Jesus blessed them. The politician was slightly disgusted at the sight of Jesus.

Then he went to hell. It wasn't like how he imagined it. The flames, screams. It was a pub. His favorite rock band was playing on stage. Girls with skimpy outfits were dancing all around. He was back in his younger days, all dressed up. All his friends were there. They were boozing, looking sharp. Then the devil walks in. He didn't have horns or a tail. He looked rather normal.


He came in with hot looking prostitutes. In a word, perfect and without a blemish. He said to the politicians and said "I heard God wants to give you a taste of hell?" and asked him what did he think? And the politician gleefully spoke about the food, the music, the booze. Satan said "These girls are yours for the remaining 18 hours, enjoy!". The politician and his friends committed adultery for the next 18 hours, without even feeling bored or tired.

Then he went back to the gates. Jesus, now on the throne without all the scars and punctures on his wrist and feet asked "My child, make your choice". The politician felt rather embarrassed but said "Jesus I never thought I would say this but I prefer hell". Jesus was troubled and pleaded him to reconsider but the politician was firm. Jesus finally let go "Suit yourself". The Lord commanded two angels to take him to hell.

When they descended from heaven, the angelic wings and white glittering robes faded and turned to dust. The angels became demons with skulls cackling and laughing at him.

The politician felt hot and could hear loud crumblings and started to tremble. He tried to sneak away from the demons but they caught him. They sneered at the politician. He pleaded on his knees to talk to Jesus and screamed "The Lord has authority over you, I command you to take me back to him". The demons looked at each other smiled and bellowed "Matthew 10:33 - Whoever disowns Me before men, I will disown him before My Father in heaven." and cackled.

In hell, the heat was unbearable, he tried to free himself from the grip of the two demons but his strength drained quickly. Hell was nothing like the pub, the prostitutes Satan offered him were shackled and were being raped by hordes of demons, the same friends he met at the pub were tortured and crucified upside down. Out of all the torture, the fire was the worst. Lucifer was there smiling cynically. The politician demanded an explanation. Satan now in his true form smiled.

Son, the booze, the hot girls in the pub was my campaign. You voted for me!

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